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...."I'm so sad!" said Hayley, "No-one will listen to my ultra-liberal stuff!""I'm so sad!" said Steve, "I'm a perverted geek and all my friends are losers!""I'm so sad!" said Roger, "I saw a website once that said 'Aliens suck, and homos suck. That means I double suck!""I'm so sad!" said Klaus, "I lust for Francine but I'm stuck in this glass prison!"Stan screamed. "Shut up all of you! Listening to your problems only serve to remind me further of what an eternal descent into the bowels of hell my life is! I have a gun, don't make me use it!""Dad!" said Haley, "What the hell is wrong with you!"Stan Smith burst into tears. "You're right, Haley, I'm a terrible father! I wouldn't be surprised if social services appeared right now to take you away! Well, off to work."Stan forced himself to walk out of the house and into his car, so he could go to work and generally have a miserable, depressing day. While driving to his destination, he hit a dog."No!" he cried, "I hit a dog! A poor, innocent, defenceless puppy! Dogs were created by Mother Nature to give us human beings endless hours of amusement and joy and one of these graceful creatures is dead becuase of me!" Stan parked his car and ran towards the police station."Police! If any of you have hearts, you'll arrest me and spare the Earth...
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