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...at if I ever quit, he'll kill Santa! And I really want a pony for Christmas!"As miserable as Stan was, he nonetheless washed and dressed himself, and made his way downstairs for breakfast. As he munched on his Gloomi-o's, he couldn't help but notice his family was bawling their eyes out. His daughter, Hayley, his son, Steve, the fish, Klaus, the alien, Roger. All of them wailing like babes."I'm so sad!" said Hayley, "No-one will listen to my ultra-liberal stuff!""I'm so sad!" said Steve, "I'm a perverted geek and all my friends are losers!""I'm so sad!" said Roger, "I saw a website once that said 'Aliens suck, and homos suck. That means I double suck!""I'm so sad!" said Klaus, "I lust for Francine but I'm stuck in this glass prison!"Stan screamed. "Shut up all of you! Listening to your problems only serve to remind me further of what an eternal descent into the bowels of hell my life is! I have a gun, don't make me use it!""Dad!" said Haley, "What the hell is wrong with you!"Stan Smith burst into tears. "You're right, Haley, I'm a terrible father! I wouldn't be surprised if social services appeared right now to take you away! Well, off to work."Stan forced himself to walk out of the house and into his car, so he could go to work and generally have a miserable, depressing day. While driving to his destination, he hit a dog."No!" he cried, "I hit a dog! A poor, innocent, defenceless puppy! Dogs were created by Mother Nature to give us human beings end...
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